


Good Attorneys AU

by TiedyedTrickster



Category: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, 逆転裁判 | Gyakuten Saiban | Ace Attorney
Genre: Apollo did not mean to sign up for this, Aziraphale and Crowley can be platonic or romantic with each other both versions are true, Demon Phoenix, Good Omens fusion/AU, Mia Lives, Multi, and has a boyfriend and a girlfriend, angel Edgeworth, book version Good Omens because that's the one I know, but Crowley still does not want to adopt, collecting this AU from its various tumblr posts into a cohesive mess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-15
Updated: 2020-08-15
Packaged: 2021-03-06 07:15:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,698
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25909483
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TiedyedTrickster/pseuds/TiedyedTrickster
Summary: Ace Attorney/Good Omens fusion, but Phoenix is the demon and Edgeworth is the angel - the original Devil’s Advocate and one of the ‘Wrathful Fist of God’-type angels. Meanwhile Crowley and Aziraphale, after only having a couple decades to recover from the Apocalypse That Wasn't, now have a pair of new coworkers on their hands.
Relationships: Aziraphale & Crowley (Good Omens), Houzuki Tomoe | Lana Skye/Ayasato Chihiro | Mia Fey/Kaminogi Souryuu | Diego Armando, Mitsurugi Reiji | Miles Edgeworth/Naruhodou Ryuuichi | Phoenix Wright
Comments: 6
Kudos: 91





	1. Chapter 1

Ace Attorney/Good Omens fusion, but Phoenix is the demon and Edgeworth is the angel - the original Devil’s Advocate and one of the ‘Wrathful Fist of God’-type angels. Phoenix didn’t so much Fall as ‘Tripped At Exactly The Wrong Moment,’ and Edgeworth’s so freaking jaded but he Refuses to let this affect his job performance. He punishes the guilty and technically Phoenix should be tempting the innocent but he’s busy defending them instead because otherwise they’re not really doing the whole “opposite, opposing forces” thing properly. In reality, Phoenix got sent up top because he’s an embarrassment of a demon and the rest of the Fallen like to ignore his existence as much as possible.

Edgeworth’s constantly low-key peeved because people meeting them for the first time keep guessing wrong about who’s the angel and who’s the demon because he is _so_ angelic, it’s not _his_ fault modern imagery tends to focus on only _one_ type of angel, and Phoenix thinks the whole thing is super funny.

Also in this Phoenix’s hairstyle hides his horns, they’re snuck in with the other spikes, you can only tell they’re there if his hair gets wet because they’re the only parts that don’t droop when they get wet.

And maybe Crowley and Aziraphale are there too, and just… bemused at this weird pair of slightly younger agents of earth who have managed to get themselves all tangled up in the legal system and an Arrangement of their own somehow.

[ ](https://greentrickster.tumblr.com/post/187192283661) [ greentrickster ](https://greentrickster.tumblr.com/post/187192283661)

Phoenix has been ‘trapped’ in _so many_ arrays and diagrams by people who want to sacrifice an angel to their dark lord, he usually hangs around for a bit, then just walks out of the circle when he gets bored and tells them to reconsider their life choices. Sometimes Edgeworth shows up partway through and Phoenix has to prevent anyone from getting smote.

“If we leave them alive they can _learn_ from this situation and grow to be better people!”

“They tried to kill an angel, they deserve punishment!!!”

“ _Fine_ , I’ll report them to the police, will that make you happy?”

“No!”

“Too bad, that’s all you’re getting.”

Then Edgeworth fusses over him for an hour and makes him drink tea and Phoenix lets him fuss and pretends that he’s not turning the tea into grape juice as he drinks it.

[ ](https://greentrickster.tumblr.com/post/187215982436) [ greentrickster ](https://greentrickster.tumblr.com/post/187215982436)

“You’ve adopted a child.”

“Well, I mean-”

“You’ve _adopted_ a _human child_.”

“She’s just so-”

“Phoenix, in case you have forgotten, _you are a demon_ , you can’t just… go around adopting things! It’s not _done_!”

The demon in question pouted at him. “Aw, why not? Trucy’s amazing, and her dad vanished on her under my watch - I’d feel bad if I just left her. Besides, you’re in no position to lecture me about adopting, you’ve got, like, at least six humans.”

Miles bristled, and had his wings been out they would likely have been distinctly ruffled. “First of all, I’m not a demon, I’m an angel, it would be _different_ if I were to undertake such a matter, we’re _expected_ to be charitable.”

“If by ‘charitable’ you mean ‘trigger-happy with the smoting,’ sure.”

“SECOND,” Miles continued, glowering at him, “I most certainly have _not_ taken in any humans - I maintain a professional distance at all times!”

This earned him an entirely unimpressed look, and Phoenix began to count off on his fingers, “Kay Faraday, Dick Gumshoe, Klavier Gavin, Sebastian DeBeste, Franziska von Karma, Ema Skye-”

“Ngh! I did not _adopt_ those people, Phoenix Wright, they are _work colleages_! Nothing more!”

“Franziska calls you ‘little brother’ all the time,” Phoenix pointed out with a smirk, “And anyways, Trucy’s gonna fit in just fine - you know she actually figured out what I am the first time we met? She noticed my horns - _nobody_ ever notices my horns! And, get this,” he leaned in close, cupping a hand to his mouth, “I think she might be actual magic, because I have no idea how she does half the stuff she does, it’s _amazing_!”

OoOoOoOoO

“Crowley? Could you be a dear and talk to yours? Miles has been face-down on my sofa for a week now just mumbling about Phoenix, and I’m beginning to grow a little concerned.”

“Deal with it yourself, angel, I’ve got bigger problems - mine’s _adopted_ a kid, if you can believe it!”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

“…that actually sounds rather nice. Crowley, what if _we-”_

“ **Absolutely not**.”

[ ](https://greentrickster.tumblr.com/post/187247981286) [ greentrickster ](https://greentrickster.tumblr.com/post/187247981286)

The reason Phoenix and Miles get into human law in this is Manfred’s fault - Phoenix has been caught in the wrong binding circles so many times, but Miles has gotten caught in the right one once, and that was because Manfred got the idea that if he bound Miles to his will, he could ensure that his legacy and style of prosecution lived on forever. The ‘loophole’ was that if Miles ever lost a case, the binding would break. But, like, that’s never gonna happen, ‘cause if a wrathful-fist-of-God-style angel says you’re guilty of something, then you’re guilty of it.

And that’s how Phoenix ended up on Mia’s doorstep going, “Yeah, I need to become a lawyer to save a friend, you’ve come closer than anyone else to beating him, teach me your skills, please.” (big, soulful brown Phoenix eyes)

And stuff accidentally gets set in motion so that Mia doesn’t die, but Maya still probably gets implicated for murder (because that’s just how Maya’s life works), and Phoenix and Maya work together to save Miles because Diego wakes up several years early and Mia was told he’d literally never wake up again so she’s kinda seriously distracted at the moment, and one of the first things Miles does when he gets free of Manfred’s hold is side-eye Phoenix _super hard_ about Diego ‘miraculously’ waking up like that.

**Phoenix:** No, but see, I healed him so that I could get her out of my way and take over the case myself, which makes it a _totally_ selfish act! Plus, it sets events in motion for, like, lust and stuff! Really evil, very demon! And Diego’s got, like, all these nasty side-effects from the poison, which are going to lead to lots of suffering!

**Miles:** …you’ve set events in motion for her to end up in an incredibly healthy, happy three-way relationship with her old paramour and Lana Skye while also continuing a successful career in law that positively touches thousands of lives in one way or another, instead of dying early and leaving a swathe of pain and suffering resulting in several more deaths in her wake. Diego’s going to grow into a stronger, better person as the result of his trials instead of becoming a twisted caricature of his former self. Lana Skye will gain several immensely strong allies, as well as the love of her life and an excellent friend instead of remaining trapped as someone’s unwilling puppet. You probably just upset at least half a dozen carefully-laid demonic plans that have been years in the making, and you did it to _save an angel_.

**Phoenix:** …oops?

And then Miles and Phoenix are stuck practicing law until they can figure out a way to neatly fade back into the background because they made the newspapers a whole bunch with this whole fiasco and events go wildly off-course from how they did in the AA games, and, again, oops.

(Also, for why Miles knows all this stuff about how things would have worked out, Hastur and his compatriot both seemed to know an awful lot about the people they carefully tempted in the beginning of Good Omens, so I’m going with the idea that angels and demons have this sort of knowledge available to them to a certain extent. Plus, I love the idea of Phoenix going “I’m just gonna heal this _one_ guy, nobody’ll notice, it’ll be fine” and ruining so many evil plans in the process.)

[ ](https://greentrickster.tumblr.com/post/187273864626) [ greentrickster ](https://greentrickster.tumblr.com/post/187273864626)

“ _Please_ let me take this case, I know I can do this!”

Mia sighed, “Phoenix, I know you want to help your… friend, but you’re still a rookie. One successful trial isn’t enough to prepare you to go up against someone like the Demon Prosecutor-”

“ _Don’t call him that_.”

She winced. Of all the slip-ups - it was the only thing that she’d discovered so far that got Phoenix really, truly upset, calling Miles Edgeworth by the moniker he’d rightly earned himself over the past few years since his debut in the legal world.

“He’s _not_ a demon, he’s- he’s in trouble. And he needs help, and I’m the only one who can-” he cut himself off, looking away, miserable, eyes skittering anywhere but hers until they landed on the photo on her desk - the old one of her and Diego, before- before. She knew he’d seen it already, she’s told him the story, but for some reason this time he smiles and snaps his fingers, meeting her gaze again in challenge. “And I think you’re gonna be too distracted this time, so I should do it for you!”

…there were allowances that Mia made for her student because he was young and ignorant, but _that_ was _crossing a line_ , with its implications and its subject matter. Thus she was a good fifteen minutes into reading Phoenix the riot act when the phone call came.

Glowering at the man across from her, she answered rather more sharply than was her usual manner. “Fey & Co. Law Offices, Mia Fey speaking, and this better be important!”

“Mia Fey?”

“We’ve already established that, yeah.”

“Miss Fey, are you seated?”

“I’m standing and I’m two seconds from hanging up if you don’t-”

“Mr. Diego Armando is awake, and he’s asking for you.”

_(Mia Fey was not in the office that night, stationed instead at the bedside of the man she had loved and whom she had been told would spend the rest of his life in a coma, and thus the only thing reported to the police the next morning was that there’d been a break-in. There was no second opportunity before the case against Redd White went to trial.)_

And that’s how Phoenix did one spontaneous miracle and accidentally caused a cascade effect of goodness.

**Phoenix:** …in my defense, forethought is a virtue.

Also, shortly after arriving on Earth for the first time in officially permanent capacity:

**Phoenix:** Blue.

**Crowley:** No.

**Phoenix:** _Bluuuuuuuuue_.

**Crowley:** Please no.

(A bit later)

**Crowley:** Well, I haven’t met the other one yet, maybe somehow the angel’s the stylish one this time? Miracles and all?

(meets Miles)

**Crowley:** …at least he likes cars…

(Aziraphale thinks Phoenix and Miles both look darling and Crowley just wants to go cry somewhere, Phoenix isn’t even wearing a _nice_ suit, it looks store-bought, crap, it _is_ store-bought, _do you not understand that you are a demon_?!?)

[#crowley doesn't just suffer in this AU](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/crowley+doesn't+just+suffer+in+this+AU) [#but those first few months/years after Miles and Phoenix arrived were very hard on him](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/but+those+first+few+months%2Fyears+after+Miles+and+Phoenix+arrived+were+very+hard+on+him) [#and he believes he should get credit for putting up with them like a champion](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/and+he+believes+he+should+get+credit+for+putting+up+with+them+like+a+champion)

[ ](https://greentrickster.tumblr.com/post/187322121001) [ greentrickster ](https://greentrickster.tumblr.com/post/187322121001)

And of course at _some point_ Phoenix is gonna get hit with holy water or something in court - regardless of universe, it’s still Phoenix and that’s how his luck works. Not enough to destroy his physical vessel or badly hurt him, of course, but enough that there’s some obvious enough smoking that everyone in court notices.

**Phoenix:** …okay, I know this looks _really bad_ , but, in my own defense, I’m not actually breaking any laws by doing this, this isn’t _actually_ illegal.

And Miles is on the other side of the court with his head in his hands and a litany of profanity leaking between his fingers, because dammit, Phoenix!

Maya’s pretty much the only one in the whole courtroom handling this with any aplomb - she’s from the Kurain channeling school, this isn’t her religion, it ain’t her problem.

(Bonus: she figured out what Phoenix was way prior to the holy water incident (and Miles too, she got _major_ bonus points with him by correctly identifying his divine alignment), and half the time she calls him ‘young Nick’ instead of just Nick (because ‘old Nick’ is actually another name for the devil and Maya thinks she’s funny))


	2. Chapter 2

[ flawney ](https://flawney.tumblr.com/post/187355346877)

Bonus: Trucy is the anti-christ. She really *is* magic.

[ ](https://greentrickster.tumblr.com/post/187355525331) [ greentrickster ](https://greentrickster.tumblr.com/post/187355525331)

Actually, I’m thinking Adam Young is still around in this AU, since it’s a fusion, so he’s still the anti-christ (though I did consider the idea you suggested very strongly!). HOWEVER, Trucy is definitely actually magic in this, because magic is cool and Adam agrees with me on this point. I’m thinking that Phoenix and Miles actually arrive on Earth post The Apocalypse That Wasn’t - neither side’s quite sure why, but having some extra agents down/up there just felt like a good idea.

Choosing Miles and Phoenix to be those agents? …probably not the best idea for what they had intended to happen, but likely the best choices long-run - ineffable and all that. ;)

[ ](https://flawney.tumblr.com/post/187357037937) [ flawney ](https://flawney.tumblr.com/post/187357037937)

Double bonus: Apollo is also magic but insists on finding the least magic profession possible and settles on law. He still ends up in an office with a demon, two spirit mediums, a miraculous coma survivor, and his very magic-embracing half-sister.

[ ](https://greentrickster.tumblr.com/post/187357809651) [ greentrickster ](https://greentrickster.tumblr.com/post/187357809651)

_Absolutely yes_. Something I was sort of thinking, for Trucy, at least, was that as well as being able to see subtle body language in this universe she also has the Sight, which is why she was able to spot Phoenix’s true nature right off the bat (she just doesn’t care, ‘cause Trucy Rolls With Stuff), and, holy wow, _of course_ Apollo has it too, _why did I not think of that sooner_?!? And he grew up in Khurai’in , so he grew up knowing that all this ‘nonsense’ is true and practicing with his abilities, but then he got sent to the States and people didn’t really believe in all that stuff as much there, so he decided that that was a part of his life he was leaving behind him along with everything else Khurai’in -related, he’s Apollo Justice and he’s _fine_ and also _completely normal_.

Then he walks into Fey, Armando, & Co. Offices to do an interview (because, holy wow, Mia Fey, Diego Armando, and Phoenix Wright are the top three defense attorneys in the city, so what if the general law community considers them a bunch of weirdos, they’re _amazing_ , and Apollo desperately wants to work for them!

And it’s going great… right up until Phoenix gets back from court and pokes his head in to see how the interview’s going, and Apollo turns around, sees him, and just freaking screams, because there’s ignoring that you can see weird stuff and there’s finding out that one of your idols is a freaking _Fallen Angel/Original Demon_ , _that’s **bad**_!!!!

End result of the chaos this results in: Apollo’s unconscious on the couch because Diego beaned him the head with a (thankfully empty) coffee mug (he’s _defensive_ of his coworkers, okay, they’ve had enough near-death experiences that it’s justified at this point), Phoenix is sulking in a corner because _nobody likes him_ , Diego’s comforting/teasing Phoenix (because if he doesn’t have a specific reason to hate him, you can’t convince me Phoenix and Diego wouldn’t get along crazy well, you just can’t), and Mia’s on the phone going, “Hey, Lana, sweetie, could you send Miles down? More dumb shit just went down with Phoenix and we’re probably going to need his feathery ass to help sort it out.”

(Lana absolutely knows about all this by now, sometimes she stares into the mirror and wonders how she ended up in charge of an angel and how her girlfriend and her girlfriend’s boyfriend ended up in charge of a demon and just this was not where she had pictured herself at this point in her life)

Apollo wakes up to find a grumpy angel standing over him brandishing a pen and a non-disclosure form, and just… that’s the end of any chance at him ever having a normal life again. He’s been accepted into the group, they know his scent, he’s stuck with them forever.

(Spoilers: he gets used to it)

[ ](https://greentrickster.tumblr.com/post/189617861041) [ greentrickster ](https://greentrickster.tumblr.com/post/189617861041)

**“Thou wilt sign this immediately, less thou wouldst find thy soul cast forever from glorious Heaven and into the depths of-”**

“Actually, if you look closely, I think he’s earmarked for the Twilight Realm.”

“Yes, _as I said_ , **cast into the depths of-** ”

“Miles, the Twilight Realm isn’t _in_ our place.”

“ **-the depths of-** Phoenix, what do you _mean_ it’s not part of your place? I always thought it was!”

“No, we were told it was a subsection of yours.”

“…wait, if it’s not _yours_ and it’s not _ours_ , then where are all those souls-?!”

“Um, excuse me?”

Apollo winced and instantly regretted his words as the _freaking angel_ (first an actual demon and now an angel?! What was his life coming to???) turned his steely grey gaze back to him and flared his wings. “ _What_?”

“I mean… I’m not really practicing anymore and haven’t for years, but on all my official documents I’m a Khura’inist?”

The angel scowled deeply, then leveled a pen and paper at him. “How about this, then: **you will sign this paper, or, so help me, I’ll smite you six ways to Sunday and then Phoenix and I will sit here and watch to see where you go after that.** How does that sound?”

Apollo swallowed hard and grabbed the pen.

[ ](https://greentrickster.tumblr.com/post/615307939206594560) [ greentrickster ](https://greentrickster.tumblr.com/post/615307939206594560)

This probably makes the whole Khura’in situation _extra_ interesting when it happens, not only because of Phoenix being a literal demon and Miles being a literal angel, but because now both of them are confused and curious about what the heck’s going on with the Twilight Realm.

Not to mention it was probably one heck of a double-take for Nahyuta when he got to Japanafornia and discovered what, exactly, his new boss is. (Embarrassed, mostly, at accidentally becoming a public official of any sort, he’s supposed to be working behind the scenes, not in front of them, how did he get dragged into this mess??? (Oh, and also an angel of the Wrathful Fist of God variety, but the embarrassment takes higher priority for Miles at the moment.))


	3. Chapter 3

[ adoginahellsite ](https://adoginahellsite.tumblr.com/post/615309278031609856)

Okay I know This is a bit off-topic but this whole idea has just given me the idea of miles and pheonix being the crowley and Azriaphale 2.0 the moment they get onto earth and once heaven and hell realise that they are they are just whisper “OH NO…” and instantly send crowley and azriaphale after them to explain human things to them to make sure the false-apocalypse situation doesn’t happen AGAIN.

[ ](https://greentrickster.tumblr.com/post/615310742078537728) [ greentrickster ](https://greentrickster.tumblr.com/post/615310742078537728)

XD That sounds hilarious! I’ve been sort of sticking with the novel’s version of events for this, just because that’s the version of Good Omens I know and love best (no problems with the mini-series, I’ve heard only good things about it, the novel just holds a very special place in my heart and I prefer to stick with it), and in the novel it’s strongly implied that Heaven and Hell (save Crowley and Aziraphale) have either forgotten about the events of the Apocalypse That Wasn’t for the most part or are very strongly ignoring that they happened. I’m guessing your rendition is more in line with how the mini-series ends, so that definitely works for that version of events!

The way I’m picturing it, book version, Phoenix and Miles get respectively deposited on Crowley and Aziraphale’s doorsteps with the message, hey, here’s your new coworker, train them. Aziraphale then spends a very stressful period trying to get Miles to chill and Crowley loses Phoenix after the first week or so and spends a very panicked few weeks trying to find him again because, crap, _he lost the bloody Advocate, who **knows** what that idiot’s getting up to on Earth_?! (Mostly wandering around petting stray dogs and seeing what’s changed since last time he was here, it’s changed a lot since he Tripped And Fell, it’s very exciting!)

And, either way, I picture Phoenix and Miles having definitely known each other before the Fall, Miles watched Phoenix trip over his own spear and stumble into enemy lines just in time to get Cast Out with the rest of them, and it was part of the reason he’s become rather jaded and extra wrathful by the time he gets sent to Earth. And when he first runs into Phoenix, there’s this overwhelming rush of both shock and relief, because he’d been fairly sure Phoenix would be killed once the Fallen got wherever they were Falling to.

Does he show any of this? Of course not, he’s an angel, Phoenix is a demon now, they’re enemies, it Wouldn’t Be Proper (like letting Phoenix tackle-hug him when they first reunited was completely how he was supposed to do things anyway). Exposure to Phoenix, Earth, and Aziraphale starts mellowing him pretty quickly, though. ;)

[ ](https://kereeachan.tumblr.com/post/615312718755495936) [ kereeachan ](https://kereeachan.tumblr.com/post/615312718755495936)

Also Miles absolutely has to be restrained from Smiting Kristoph when Apollo exposes him because _that wasn’t your case, Miles_! And then when Apollo and Klavier both expose him the second time around everyone’s like “oh noes, we have to talk Miles down _again”_ and it turns out Azriaphale got to him first.

Aziraphale: He tried to kill a young girl via her like of his nail polish and her nail biting habit? And initially tried to kill her father with a poisoned stamp? And framed her for killing said father? And used her to forge evidence? *angry angel noises*

Crowley: …We’re gonna need a lot of tea.

[ ](https://greentrickster.tumblr.com/post/626486864777445377) [ greentrickster ](https://greentrickster.tumblr.com/post/626486864777445377)

Miles absolutely has to be restrained from smiting Kristoph the very first time he meets the guy, before he does anything more than look him in the eye, Miles is not like Aziraphale, who, in his original purpose, is a guardian and a warning. Can he fight if he needs to? Absolutely. But, since the Beginning, he has been the sort to look at the newly cast-out residents of Eden and offer what kindness he can.

No, Miles is the sort who used to be sent down in the Old Testament era. He was not created to heal or guard or guide, he was created to strike down evil wherever it may be lurking and _he knows it when he sees it_. And Phoenix, well, he’s a demon, it’s rather his job to recognize evil when he sees it so he can encourage it (not that he generally does). But even he, the original Devil’s Advocate, will not argue for Kristoph. In this instance, this rare instance, Phoenix would not have stayed Miles’s hand.

The thing is, Miles and Phoenix? They’re new to Earth, only been here a couple decades at most. They’re inexperienced and adapting still, even if they’re both fairly quick studies. But Aziraphale? Aziraphale has been here since the Beginning. He lived through Eden, though every war mentioned in the Bible, through Genghis Khan, through every colonization, through both World Wars, through all of it, he has seen humanity at their greatest and at their worst. And he is the one who holds them back.

“The hardest part of the job,” he tells Miles, who is shaking with rage still, “Is that we need to play by their rules.”

“The trickiest part of the job,” Crowley tells Phoenix, even as this is happening, “Is knowing _when_ to cheat the system. We can’t work on an individual level anymore, it’s too slow - gotta look at the big picture.”

And Phoenix and Miles step back.

And they look at the game, _really_ look at it.

And they look each other in the eye.

Kristoph isn’t the problem. He’s a symptom.

Aziraphale is right; if they want to fix this, they have to play by humanity’s rules.

Crowley is right; they can’t treat this as something small scale.

Five years later Kristoph is arrested for murder twice over, the truth of the Gramarye trial has come to light, the jurist system has survived its first test and looks like it will be accepted into court procedure after a bit more paperwork, Miles is in place to start rooting out further corruption from within the system, and Phoenix is sheepishly asking Mia and Diego if he can have his old job back once he’s passed the bar again.

Aziraphale and Crowley are nodding to each other - their coworkers seem to be getting the hang of things quite nicely, even if they’re still rather more hands-on than they prefer to be.

And, about half a year later, Apollo is all set to go and apply for a job at Fey, Armando, & Co. Law Offices (and also kiss any hope he’d had of a normal life goodbye, but he doesn’t know that just yet).


	4. Chapter 4

Starting a new thread for my Good Omens/Ace Attorney fusion AU - wasn’t going to, but the other one’s getting kinda massive, so, new thread!

Something that probably wouldn’t actually happen, but which would be _hilarious_ to see: Miles and Phoenix facing off against each other in court as per usual and really going at it, and Miles gets so frustrated that he inadvertently pulls his wings out in an intimidation tactic, and Phoenix instinctively does the same to try and even the playing field again, and they don’t even really notice for a good fifteen minutes of Objection tennis while the rest of the court stares on with slack jaws. It’s fortunately covered up with a few miracles, but they still end up with Crowley reading them the riot act about it not being the BCs anymore, pacing around and waving his hands, and Aziraphale’s a bit behind and to the left, not really saying anything, just exuding disappointment, and it’s _awful_ , Phoenix and Miles are both just dying inside because their ~~dads~~ superiors are upset with them.

Speaking of wings, one of the lines I’ve always liked from Good Omens is that angel wings and demon wings look exactly the same, demons’ are just better groomed. So that is entirely the case with Phoenix and Miles, their wings are completely identical, from shape to colour, only for once it’s the angel with the better-groomed wings (because _Miles_ ). He actually grumbles at Phoenix about that, “You’re a demon, for pity’s sake, this is one of the things you’re supposed to be _good at_.”

[ ](https://greentrickster.tumblr.com/post/187400279291) [ greentrickster ](https://greentrickster.tumblr.com/post/187400279291)

Gods, it just occurred to me - Diego’s only in a coma for about two years in this AU, which is way better than canon, but that’s still two years he’s gone with no coffee. With the amount he drinks, he was probably the kind of guy who could down a triple-shot espresso at midnight and still go to sleep a few minutes later, caffeine likely meant _nothing_ to him at that point, he just really liked coffee. And he’s going to wake up to a body that’s not just kind of emaciated from two years of coma (not to mention blind without that visor, and still no red even with it), he hasn’t had caffeine in his system for that _entire time_. His caffeine tolerance is _gone_.

That first cup of coffee he finally gets to have? After months of therapy and carefully nurturing his digestive track back to the point where it can handle solids and harsher substances like coffee again? He’s in for the shock of his _life_ , it’s just a half-cup of one of his milder blends because doctor’s orders, and he can’t stop vibrating, everything’s jittery, _is he dying, was there something in the coffee again, Miaaaaaa_???

And it’s like, nope, you’ve just gone from being a coffee god to a coffee noob, and it’s legit the only thing that really pisses him off about his situation beyond the fact that he got poisoned in the first place. 

[ ](https://greentrickster.tumblr.com/post/187668825966) [ greentrickster ](https://greentrickster.tumblr.com/post/187668825966)

Gods, being in Khura’in is probably _physically painful_ for Phoenix in this AU - all those people with really strong faith and spiritual powers, even if it’s for a different system than the one he’s part of (which the main reason he hasn’t had to high-step everywhere and also didn’t just spontaneously burst into flames when he arrived).


End file.
